Just book off

I recently saw in the newspapers that my old mate Paul O’Grady is demanding £2million for the second part of his autobiography. His first book ‘At My Mother's Knee and Other Low Joints’ proving very successful and topped the bestsellers chart over Christmas. It got me thinking about my own autobiography (asking price £3million… sorry Paul!) and I was wondering who I could get to write it… perhaps I should have a go. I remember once being told by a famous writer that I should get the title first, because that’s how she did it, and the rest would just flow accordingly. (I’m not at liberty to say who the author was but she always called me her ‘Half Blood Prince… or was it half price prince? No matter). I thought about ‘Agadoandme’, a reference to my early years as a DJ when I took Benidorm by storm with my collection of 45s with Agado and the Birdie Dance being favourites of the crowd I was playing to. The Spanish seaside resort was then the equivalent of what Ibiza is now… except Ibiza seemed a word whispered on the breeze as if some enchanted, mythical destination. How times change. Oddly enough, I never had a bad gig in Beni. How could I? I was a fresh faced, eager youth with my colourful WHAM inspired shorts and a battery of discs that got everyone up and dancing… and those who couldn’t dance went through the motions. Seeing a disabled pensioner sat in her chair doing all the moves to Agado made the words “Push Pineapple, shake the tree” all the more moving.

That naughty little terror, Sacha Baron Cohen, aka Ali G and Borat, I see has been at it again. He seems to have upset some high powered American with Bruno, his mincing European fashion reporter character, when he enticed the VIP to be interviewed and ended up getting him into his bedroom and making a pass. No doubt the next Borat film will reveal what actually happened. He’s also been seen taking the piss out of Madonna. Ohh Kabbalah! There’s a photo of him holding an African baby and saying he thought it was a two-for-one offer, so he’d gone back for the other. I bet he’s not on her Christmas card list anymore.

Saint Peter Tatchell, one of Britain 's best known human rights campaigners, has been awarded a "blue plaque" by Southwark council - an honour given to prominent individuals connected with the borough, as well as placed on local heritage sites.
It is only fitting that in the same Borough where Peter fought the 1983 Bermondsey by-election - widely regarded as the dirtiest and most violent election campaign in Britain- a blue plaque will now denote where one of the world’s human rights’ heroes lives. Peter's place in our history is marked alongside esteemed Southwark residents of times gone by including Charles Dickens, Charlie Chaplin, Oliver Goldsmith and Isambard Kingdom Brunel.

Congratulations Peter!