Celebrities Want The Strangest Things

Mariah Carey is perhaps one of the most famous celebrities who is supposed to make diva-ish demands in her contracts. These little ‘demands` for instance; 200 white kittens and a host of white doves, makes great copy but are they true? 

Over the years I’ve been running clubs and dealing with celebrities and DJs, quite a lot of the artist riders have demanded some really obscure items. Like specific mixing desks, when perhaps there is only one in existence and it is unavailable at that particular time or precise fluffy towels that they simply must have if they are required to perform. Mostly the riders are for equipment, which is OK although food can sometimes get silly. I remember a DJ who demanded a Sushi platter, which we dutifully supplied at great expense but he came off stage, took one look and said he really wanted a McDonalds. Booze is the main obsession that gets artists all riled up. They can ask for gallons of beer, lager and some exclusive foreign brand vodka, and can get quite snippy when it runs out. Of course they have been supplying it to all their road crew and hangers on and wonder why there’s none left by the time they have finished their set.
Many years ago I put on a show with M People, who were at the height of their fame and one of the things they demanded was a case of bananas and fruit. We gave them all they asked for and at the end of the night, when they were on their way home, not one piece of fruit had been eaten. I had to live as a chimp for the rest of the month… eating bananas at every meal.
Some DJs have written into their contracts that they need specific items of clothing. Often these guys are dashing around the country and travelling light so need certain things after a long sweaty set on the decks. We’ve supplied M&S underwear, shirts and jumpers but by far the most demanded item is socks. Yes socks. We’ve sorted that out by taking a trip to Primark and getting a bunch of these essential items ready to meet the next request. I once asked a DJ why he wanted socks. He said that at the hotel they can cost as much as £8 to get them dry cleaned… it hadn’t occurred to him to do what I do… wash them in the sink and use the trouser press to dry them out. 
One of my favourite DJs Carl Cox had asked for a bowl of exotic fruit for his dressing room. Unfortunately, I misread it and thought he’d asked for erotic fruit… so he didn’t quite get what he wanted. I often wondered what he thought about his bowl containing bananas, cucumbers, carrots, aubergines, courgettes… and fruit flavoured lube!

On a completely different subject - news is circulating that Boy George will be entering the Celebrity Big Brother House next year. The tabloids will be full of the fact that the poor boy is being locked up yet again, after his most famous recent incarceration for imprisoning a rent boy. But, I just want to point out that I was the first to lock in the Boy. I had him imprisoned in my house way back in the early 90s. He did a DJ set at one of my club nights, I had no money to offer him a hotel so I put him up at my back-to-back terrace house where I was living at the time. As I only had one set of keys, I locked him in then went to kip at my mum's. In the morning when he realised he couldn't get out, he was furious and really let rip when I finally arrived to meet him. We’ve made it up since but it still brings a smile to my face at the memory. Meanwhile, I’m sure if he can put up with the cramped conditions of prison and my back-to-back, he’ll have no trouble with the splendour of the BB house. Hell, I even believe they have heating in there.