It's no go for Jacko
Poor Michael Jackson, in the past few days he's been reportedly turned down by Simon Fuller and Simon Cowell to re-launch his pop career.
I read that my old teenage friend is desperate to put his troubles behind him and relaunch his pop career, and has had several meetings with ex-Spice Girls manager Simon Fuller in the hope of harnessing his substantial industry clout.
However, the 19 Management boss has told Michael: 'Thanks, but no thanks' a response matched by nasty pop mogul Simon Cowell. In The Sun, a source is reported to have said: 'Both Simons are busy with TV and music projects so are unable to commit to him.'
I find the whole idea of Wacko teaming up with either of the two slimy Simons a bit of a nonsense, what they're best at is spotting young, undiscovered talent, honing it, and marketing it to teen audiences.
What self-respecting 13-year-old girl is going to be interested in a dodgy 40-something fallen star with a very strange face?
He's hardly Sugar magazine poster material is he? I also heard that some of his memorabilia, seized by a company he owed money to, will be auctioned off in Las Vegas. It apparently includes skin whitening cream. I'd check the use-by date if I were to put a bid on that...
Let's hope Jacko isn't reduced to trudging off to the car boot sale or sitting up all night uploading stuff on eBay like everyone else with a surplus of possessions does.
The truth is, I just don't know what Jacko will do next. Over the past couple of years, much has been made of the fact that I met him as a teenager and he befriended me. It's a surreal image, I know, but I vividly remember my parents going ballistic when our phone got cut off because I'd been ringing Michael in California, running up huge bills!
People suspect I make this stuff up but I swear, it's true. So bizarre is this story that I still get asked to give interviews about it. I feel
like I've told the tale a million times before but if you haven't heard it before, I knocked on his hotel room door at the Dragonara, Leeds, in February 1979 when I was 13. I had my tape recorder with me, as usual, and he let me interview him.
Anyway, when he went back to the States we spoke on the phone a few times, for up to three hours - just about general chit chat.
Contrary to what people say, the talk only strayed towards sex once and I just laughed it off, a bit embarrassed, and steered conversation back towards pop music and TV.
This stuff's recounted in a new book, out at the end of the month, by Darwin Porter.
It's called the Rise and Fall Of Michael Jackson and the three pages about me are gathered from old interviews - he didn't even talk to me in person. Bits are misconstrued and inferences laid on as thick as Michael's make-up- it's amazing what people get away with in print.
Anyway, back to MJ today - I think he's still got bags of talent to offer, but he's embarrassed himself going to those two Simons.
Still, he could do worse and approach ex Take That manager Nigel Martin Smith - I've got his number, Jacko, if you want it.
£10 a minute to see Man U
My partner Michael, a Man United season ticket holder, has just paid a whopping £900 for an FA Cup final ticket. He lost out in the fans' lottery and had to nab one from a guy who arranges corporate boxes and such like.
That'll work out at £10 a minute - it had better be good. I paid another £750 for my friend Stu to join him. What a swizz, but the prices are better than American Express could manage.
I'm in a special club, called the Centurian club, into which American Express invite people who they think are big spenders.
You get a black credit card and perks like free travel insurance with lavish cover meaning you can immediately spend several hundred quid on essentials if your bag gets lost by the airline... Anyway, another thing they do is say they can get you tickets to absolutely anything.
I inquired and they said, yes they could. For a whopping £1,350 plus VAT. I'm not that big a spender...
I think it's time for a ban on ticket prices over and above face value. The Glastonbury festival's photo pass idea is the way forward, I reckon.
Mr Gay UK Date
I CAN'T believe it's that time of year already but the heats for my male beauty competition, Mr Gay UK, are coming up - and we've one in Huddersfield for the first time in a few years.
It's at the New Union on Sunday July 1 and, you've guessed it, the reigning Mr Gay UK himself, Huddersfield policeman Mark Carter (pictured), will be there. Under the competition rules, he's not allowed to go for the title again, so the dashing constable has to give up his crown. Could someone else from Huddersfield triumph? What are the chances?
It's no go for Jacko