Missing My Mum on Mothers Day
For people who don’t have their Mum’s around, Mothers day is a timeto think about them and remember their time together.
For me Mothers Day was more important than Christmas and birthdays because it was a special day to appreciate her and what she’d done for me throughout my life. When she was alive I would always take her to Marks and Spencer’s to buy her a new outfit then we’d go out for dinner.
When Mum passed away I realized when clearing her house out there were 50 or so silk scarves which she loved to match the outfits I’d bought her. I found so many new clothes still with the labels on that she’d never worn. She thought she’d got fat and was a size 16 to 18. I always knew her size through buying her outfits and can remember when she was a 12.
This morning I took part in Liz Green’s breakfast show on BBC Radio Leeds to talk about Mums telling little you white lies for your own good – and one thing my Mum used to tell me was I had to eat carrots to see in the dark and she’d test me later that day to see if I could see better and I really believed it worked. In reality it probably did benefit me when we couldn’t afford electricity to light the house!
One thing I wished I’d said on the radio was a thing she had us do once –she invited a posh couple called Doris and Harry round to our house for dinner. They arrived in a really nice car and had a poodle. Mum asked me and my 3 brothers if we wanted a starter. but pre-warned us if we said no we could have extra dessert. When it came to dessert we all got excited only to be disappointed when she said no you’re not having desert because you didn’t eat your starters!
After the meal, Mum offered Doris and Harry a drink– either port, whiskey, vodka or gin. Thankfully they refused as we didn’t have any of those and she would have sent one of the kids to the shop 5 doors away to buy a miniature.
She’d often ask me to go the shop and get 2 Oxo (can you believe you could buy them individually!) and mouth silently ‘and a miniature’ so nobody could hear. I would say out loud ‘and what Mum?’ she would make a fuss and say out loud ‘2 Oxo’ then mouth again silently ‘and a minature’. The shop sold alcohol to kids no question.
For Mum and Lily next door I’d take an empty bottle of wine to the shop and they would fill it up for us. Once quizzing her why they called it the ‘local packet shop’she told me it was because you could buy everything in little packets. She always had a quick reply.
My Dad used to drink a bottle of cider and 2 cans of special brew and would pass out on the sofa. He said he couldn’t sleep unless he had a drink, it was like a vicious circle. I’m sure their drinking is what has led to me being tee total. But I do have my vices like my addiction to sweet things.
I have differing memories both of the good and bad times at home during my childhood. Sometimes the house was clean and sometimes it went downhill – when Dad stopped working and only Mum’s income was coming in and the whole house were living off her and both started drinking. Those were the low points.
Each time I see an elderly lady carrying her shopping I think of Mum with carrier bags cutting through her fingers and a huge weight on her back on her way home from Schofields department store where she worked. In the good days she would bring home discounted stuff and the cupboards were full. She worked there 10 years later too on the cheese counter.
No matter how busy I was in my life I always found time to go and visit my Mum and take her out on Mothers Day– it was always easier to plan with it being a Sunday too.
My Mum’s passing is still very raw and I try not to think about it as it makes me burst into tears every time.
Happy Mothers Day Mum……