When the Rhinos met the Wildcats
Fellas - if you want to pull girls, become a rugby player. You should see females throwing themselves at the stars of the Leeds Rhinos, I can't believe what I'm seeing sometimes.
And what makes it all the more ridiculous is that the vast majority of these sportsmen are married or in steady relationships - a good proportion of them are also dads - so they've no interest whatsoever in all the attention.
I've been following the Rhinos for a few months now, taking photos of them on and off the pitch with a view to bringing out a coffee table book - I'm now in talks with publishers.
We had a laugh at a Western-themed ladies night - I think it was a fundraiser for the club - at the Queens Hotel, Leeds, where the guys joined tables of female fans for dinner, swapping seats between courses. I took some great pictures of them in cowboy hats and check shirts.
I was the only guy there who wasn't on the team. They said to me: "You wouldn't believe the sorts of things these girls are saying to us," and I said: "Like what?" but they were perfect gentlemen and didn't divulge - obviously not wanting to make me blush.
Some of the attraction is undoubtely their finely honed physiques but I also believe it's the genuine, down-to-earth quality that the rugby players seem to have, they don't act like prima donna-ish footballers sometimes do.
The lads came down to Mission, my Leeds club, later on and settled in to the VIP area. They go in there to escape the attention of women, to be honest! They were all drinking coke despite my efforts to get them to enjoy themselves and have a little alcohol - I wonder if they'd had stern words from their coach and maybe even a no booze ban.
Then a group of lads from the Wakefield Wildcats turned up.
"Uh oh!" I thought: "Is this going to be awkward?" The Wildcats had beaten the Rhinos only a couple of days before.
I feared there might be huge local rivalry. It was amazing, I had about 60 rugby-related VIP guests - players, their friends and entourage - in the club.
But I needn't have worried. The players from the two teams mingled happily, chatting to each other - you'd have thought they were all on the same side! Could you imagine opposing football teams behaving so nicely?
Fun day Sunday
I had a packed day yesterday (SUNDAY), first I went to the Pink Picnic in Huddersfield - the 21st event no less, and it's going from strength to strength. Huddersfield's own Mr Gay UK, Mark Carter, officially opened the day - as you'll no doubt have read elsewhere in this paper.
I'm going to Budapest with Mark next week as he tries his luck in the Mr Gay Europe competition - a very serious affair in which the contestants get asked questions about politics and current affairs. Ours meanwhile continues in its usual frivilous tradition with a grand final at the Flamingo Club in Blackpool on Friday August 31. So who will Mark relinquish his crown to? We just don't know.
Last night I was on stage at the Queen's Hotel, Leeds, hosting the city's Bar and Club Awards with JoJo from Galaxy - there isn't room in this column to bring you all the gossip so you'll have to wait till next week.
Why I've gone off Ibiza
Since I did my bit for the Ibiza tourist board a couple of weeks ago I've been back twice to check up on my Federation club night at Heaven but the last visit was a real downer. I checked in to my villa, headed out for an hour and a half, and came back to find I had been burgled.
My new £6,000 camera was gone, as well as a load of cash. I checked the insurance and realised I was only covered for £1,500 of stuff and only £250 for single items. So there's a lesson - check your policy before you fly out!
That seems so old fashioned, many of us carry lots of items that would cost more than £250 to replace. I'm not happy but there's nothing I can do. Let's hope my next visit restores my faith in the party island ...
When the Rhinos met the Wildcats